Becoming the best me I can be

Archive for April, 2013

8 things no one ever told me about breastfeeding

1. The Smell
Breastmilk has a unique smell. I wouldn’t necessarily call it a bad smell (unless it gets on your clothes because then you get the dreaded sour milk smell which is completely unpleasant) but it isn’t really a good smell either. I don’t really notice it anymore since I’ve been smelling it for 6 months. When I first started breastfeeding, I was so surprised by the smell.
2. The Mess
Another surprising part of breastfeeding for me was the mess. I guess it was part of the first time mom way of thinking. I just thought she would latch on, drink and let go when all the milk was done. No mess, no cleaning up, nothing. Haha! Boy, I was wrong! Its not really a problem anymore. But when my milk came in, I was a mess. At first, my right breast leaked incessantly for 2 months before it got itself under control. Plus, Peanut is a messy eater. She will eat for a minute, stop to look around, then continue eating. This makes milk go all over the place. I have to tuck a burp cloth under my breast while she eats to keep it off my clothes (refer back up to #1 for why you want to keep it off your clothes). Sometimes I will forget the burp cloth is tucked under by boob when I put myself back together and I will walk around with it sticking out of my shirt until I realize it. Talk about embarrassing!
3. Latching On
No, I’m not talking about her latching onto my nipple. She’s great at that. What I’m talking about is how Peanut latches onto me with her hands. It happens now that she is older and she has great control of her hands. She will grip my shirt tightly in one hand and my bra tightly in the other. Then she will fall asleep that way without loosening her death grip. I wouldn’t mind except when I try to put her into her crib because I wake her up trying to get her to let go of my clothes!
4. Feeding her in the bathroom
Yes. I have fed my baby in a bathroom. I was out to dinner with my husbands parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles. Peanut was hungry and yelling up a storm. I didn’t want to offend his family by feeding her at the table although I’m sure they wouldn’t have minded. Instead I took her into the bathroom. Hubby’s mom came in with me, brought a chair with her for me to sit on and held the door shut so I could feed Peanut in privacy. (I won’t get into the reasons why I think its wrong for breastfeeding mothers to have to feed our babies in bathrooms because some people have issues with it. I try to be respectful though, which is why I won’t talk about it)
5. You might offend people you care about
It will happen. Everyone has their own opinion. Some people will be offended by you breastfeeding your child. Like it is any of THEIR business. I knew I might offend a stranger for my choice to breastfed. I knew I would hear the questions (“You breastfed?” “Won’t your breasts get saggy?”), the comments, and the looks. Even your own family could be offended by it. I learned this the hard way at Peanut’s first thanksgiving. I took it really hard, especially after how supportive my in-laws are about my choice to breastfed Peanut.
6. The Staring
No one told me my baby would stare at my breasts like she found the lost city of Atlantis. She stares when she’s hungry, when I’m changing, even when I wear a lower cut top. She is more fascinated with my breasts than my husband (which is saying something).
7. The thirst
I get soooooooo thirsty since I breastfeed Peanut. I thought I was thirsty when I was pregnant. That was nothing compared to the intense thirst I have now. I drink almost a gallon of water a day. I am thirstier now that I also exercise.
8. The Silly moments
No one told me of the silly things babies would do while they are breastfeeding. Some of my favorite moments with my daughter are while she’s breastfeeding. Sometimes she will stop nursing to look up at me, give me a huge smile with milk trailing down her chin, and then continue to eat. It is always random, adorable, and hilarious whenever she does it. There will be times when she’s eating that she will hold her arm straight up in the air. As she starts to fall asleep, her arm will sink towards my shirt. The moment is touches my shirt she yanks it back into the air. The process will continue until she falls asleep completely. This reminds me of when wrestlers are put into a sleeper hold and their arm falls as they pass out. I try so hard not to crack up laughing whenever she does it.

Sleeper Hold

Sleeper Hold

Liebster Award


I feel so honored! First, I was nominated by Letters to Chace & Harper for the Liebster Award. Then, I was nominated again for it a few days later by The 80/20 Mom. Its one thing to have one person like my blog enough to nominate me, but TWO??? I am feeling the love!!! Thanks Ladies!!!! Since Letters to Chace & Harper nominated me first, I will answer her questions.


– Thank the person who nominated you
– Answer the 11 questions from your nominator
– Nominate the award to 11 new bloggers
– Ask 11 new questions to the nominated recipients

Letters to Chace & Harper’s Questions for me

1. What is your favorite post you have written?

My favorite post I’ve written so far is Where did my newborn go? because I loved reminiscing. I wrote from the heart in that post and you can tell when you read it. I cried through most of it. A mixture of happy and sad tears.

2. If you could meet one famous person, who would it be and what would you say?

I’d love to meet Pink. I have always enjoyed her music and I love her opinions on breastfeeding and parenting. I would ask her questions on parenting and how she feels about being judged by so many people for the way she parents. I would also tell her how awesome I think she is for standing up for herself and her beliefs.

3. What is your favorite childhood memory?

Staying up late at night watching wrestling with my dad when I was little. He yelled at the TV during wrestling like most football fans do during the superbowl. It always made me laugh.

4. If you had a million dollars, what would you do with it?

I would pay off my husband’s school loans as well as mine. I would give some of it to my husband’s parents to say thank you for all of the love, support and financial help they have given me over the years. I would save the rest of it.

5. Do you believe in fate?

Yes. I believe my husband and I were meant to be together. He is my soulmate and I am his. We love each other deeply. No one understands me as well as he does and he loves me regardless.

6. Do your family members or people closest to you read your blog?

I invited some of my friends to read it but I don’t know if they do or not

7. Do you prefer scary movies or comedies?

I love laughing so I prefer comedies but I like watching scary movies as well.

8. One thing that you do to relieve stress or take time for yourself?

I like to make myself homemade body scrubs, facial masks, and bath salts. Then I take a nice relaxing bubble bath and use the scrubs, and facial masks.

9. What is your favorite day of the week?

Sunday is my favorite day. My husband and I both have off work and the day is designated family day.

10. If you could visit any country in the world, where would you go and why?

Australia. I loved Australia ever since I was a kid watching Steve Irwin on Crocodile Hunter. The wildlife, the landscape and the people have always amazed me. I would love to go there someday.

11. What is your favorite food?

My old favorite food was pizza. I just LOVED pizza. But I don’t eat it anymore due to the dairy and how unhealthy it is. So right now, I don’t really have a favorite food.

11 Blogger I nominated for this award:


Finding My Onederland

Finding me, One Pound At A Time


Day by Day



Fatness To Fitness

Mrs. Healthy Ever After

If Not For The Skinny Jeans…

Insatiable Thinker

11 Questions for the Nominees:

  1. What/Who inspires you?
  2. Why did you start your blog?
  3. What is your favorite season?
  4. Describe yourself in three words.
  5. If you could change one thing about yourself, would you? What would it be?
  6. Name one bad habit you would like to change.
  7. Do you have kids? If not, do you want them? If so, do you want more?
  8. What makes you laugh?
  9. Favorite movie?
  10. What chore do you hate doing the most?
  11. What qualities do you like in a blog?

Weekly Update- April 28, 2013

Posing for a picture at the park today

Posing for a picture at the park today

Every week I plan on posting an update about my progress towards better health. I will post goals I want to accomplish in the upcoming week, if I accomplished the goals I set the previous week, current weight, if I lose or gain weight (hopefully only lose weight), and a brief summary of my activities.

Goals from previous week

  • Walk at least 10 miles yes!
  • Do at least one yoga workout = nope 😦
  • Try to eat more veggies as well as fruits yes!
  • Eat small healthy meals/snacks every 2-3 hours throughout the day yes!
  • Drink more water throughout the day. (I drink a ton of water since my daughter is still nursing but I need to drink more now that I am working out) yes!

Goals for the upcoming week

  • Walk at least 10 miles
  • Do at least one yoga workout
  • Do at least one step aerobics workout
  • Try to eat more veggies and fruits
  • Eat small healthy meals/snacks every 2-3 hours throughout the day
  • Drink more water throughout the day. (I drink a ton of water since my daughter is still nursing but I need to drink more now that I am working out)

Weigh-in Time

Weight: 257.7 pounds
Lose/Gain: Lost 3.1 pounds!!!!!
Weekly Summary

I was really busy this week but I made sure I had plenty of time for walking. Not only did I beat my goal of walking 10 miles, I crushed it!!! I was a walking machine this week. The weather was great and I just wanted to be outside walking. I didn’t think I walked as much as I did though. I walked for a total of 15.04 miles this week!!! All I have to say is WOW! No wonder I lost 3 pounds.

I got so caught up in walking this week I completely forgot I wanted to do a yoga workout. I’m not making excuses though. I should have paid attention and remembered to do it. I’ll make sure I do one this week. Otherwise, I completed all my other goals for last week. Drinking a lot of water this week was too hard because I have been so thirsty from all the walking. I’ve been drinking water like crazy and I still feel thirsty.

I have been adding more veggies into my diet this week, including broccoli, and salads. I have been doing great with eating fruits this week as well. I love eating fruit. Speaking of which, I have some yummy grapes and pears in the fridge I’m going to go eat.

Where did my newborn go?

Peanut as a newborn

Peanut as a newborn

Peanut has turned 6 months old this week and I am left completely baffled. Where did my newborn go? I know she has been growing and learning but I cannot believe she is 6 months old already. It feels as though time has captured my newborn, took her away forever, and gave me this adorable, active, chubby little baby instead.

Don’t get me wrong. I am just LOVING this stage right now. She is working hard to explore her world and to learn as much as she can. Peanut’s not really moving yet but she is trying. She rolls really well now from her tummy to her back. She rolls onto her side to look at things and reach for toys. Peanut loves babbling at everyone she meets, including animals. She picks up all sorts of toys and chews on everything. She loves to go out of her way to pull on her daddy’s beard or to tug on my hair. Peanut absolutely loves our daily walks where she can look at all the colors, smell all the flowers, and figure out where the sounds are coming from. She is growing so quickly.

Peanut at 6 months old. She's growing up so fast!

Peanut at 6 months old. She’s growing up so fast!

Part of me just wants to yell slow down and figure out a way to make it happen. Yet, I know it’s just a part of her growing up. I know it’s how life works. It’s the hard part of being a parent. I know in the years to come, I will continue to be amazed, surprised, frustrated, delighted, and baffled by this little girl. I also know I am going to love every minute of it.
But for now, I will just live in the moment with her. I will cherish our time together when we snuggle as she nurses. I will enjoy the way she cuddles in my arms, how she feels safe and content in my arms, and the way she looks up at me with such love and trust. I will watch her learn, explore, and take on the world, offering her my assistance when she needs or wants it. I will laugh with her, cry with her, and act completely silly with her. Most importantly, I will love her immensely and unconditionally.

This One Time, I Had Babies*

This reminds me to live in the moment with my little girl because she won’t be little for long

What’s up so far this week

I just wanted to let you guys know what I have been up to so far this week. I have been doing wonderful this week with both eating healthy and keeping up with my walks.

Here is just a little summary of how I’ve been doing with my exercises.

  • Sunday- I went on two different walks for a total of 1.89 miles.
  • Monday- I didn’t have a chance to go on my walk but I did manage to do 30 squats, 20 calf raises and I walked in place for about 20 minutes.
  • Tuesday- I was extra energetic and walked 3.26 miles. The longest walk I have completed since I started walking.
  • Today- I went on a walk with Peanut for 2.62 miles.

It’s only Wednesday and I am already up to 7.72 miles! I am really happy with how well I’ve been doing. The more walks I go on, the more I just love it. I am in a better mood after my walks. I feel happier, healthier, and I have more self-confidence. I’m hoping after I walk for long enough I can start jogging.

I have already started noticing positive changes from changing to a healthy lifestyle. Although I am a bit physically tired from my walks, I have more energy than ever. My clothes are looser and my wedding ring is getting loose as well. I’m not use to needing to pull up my pants since they starting to sag. My self-esteem and self-confidence have skyrocketed. I am happier and Peanut is in a better mood as well from our walks.

Another new thing going on for me this week is a program at work called Walk On. It encourages the employees to walk with a pedometer for 6 weeks keeping track of how many steps we take each day. The company gives prizes if/when we reach 50, 100, 150 and 200 miles. The program starts today. Not only did I sign up but I have tried to get my coworkers to sign up as well. I have been trying to promote healthy habits as much as I can.

Giving her the best

As anyone reading my blog knows, I have been very focused on eating healthy and trying to give myself the best nutrition possible. I am doing this for my daughter as well as for myself. I have been breastfeeding my daughter for 6 months and I’m still going strong. Whatever I eat, Peanut eats. I am doing everything in my power to give her the best nutrition, provide her with the best food she can have, and help her develop the best eating habits a mother can teach her daughter.
Breastfeeding was never an option for me. The moment I found out I was pregnant, I knew I was going to breastfed my baby. I knew it was going to be hard. I knew it was going to be awkward, but I also knew it was the best option I could give my daughter.

I was so blessed to have breastfeeding come easy for me and my daughter. She was a champ when it came to learning how to breastfeed. It was almost effortless for the both of us. I wanted to breastfeed her and she wanted breastmilk. It was that simple for us. I have never had problems with milk supply, cracked nipples, mastitis, or any of the other normal issues associated with breastfeeding. I am one of the lucky ones.

Peanut trying to feed herself

Peanut trying to feed herself

I know there are many mothers who would just love for breastfeeding to be that simple for them as well. My heart goes out to those mothers who wanted to breastfed but either their bodies or their babies where unable to breastfed. I would have been devastated if I wouldn’t have been able to breastfed. I just can’t imagine not doing it. It is the only way I know.
Providing my daughter with the best nutrition I could give her didn’t stop at just breastfeeding her. The same way I knew I would breastfeed Peanut, I also knew I would try making her homemade baby food. Yet again, it was a no brainer for me. I read about all the additives put into baby food and all the health benefits of making your own. I knew it was the way I wanted to go. My mother even bought me the baby bullet for my birthday (I was only two and a half months pregnant at the time).

At Peanut’s four and a half month doctor visit, she was measuring very small. She was measuring in the lower half of the five percentile range. My doctor suggested we start giving her solids at five months and I did. I automatically pulled out my streamer and baby bullet. Yet again, I was lucky enough to have making her food come easy to me. I love cooking from scratch in the first place so making baby food from scratch wasn’t hard for me.

Homemade baby food

Homemade baby food

I knew I would get a lot of baby food from a small amount of veggies but I was still surprised when I saw just how much I got. I made her sweet potatoes as her first food. One large sweet potato provided me with 23 stage one servings of sweet potato puree for her! I was so pleasantly surprised! It gave me even more incentive to make it myself. She has been eating solids for over a month now and I have yet to give her anything out of a jar. She has been gained weight steadily and growing well. The doctor has been pleased with how well she is doing.

Breastfeeding and making my own baby food are the choices I made for my daughter. They are the best options I could find to give my daughter the best nutrition I could provide. I am not saying there is anything wrong with formula or jarred baby food. I don’t and won’t judge another mother for giving her baby either one. I’m just not that type of person. The only thing that matters is whether or not your baby is happy and healthy. I respect any mother’s choice on how to feed their baby, just as I hope other mothers respect my choice of how I feed my daughter.

And I Kept On Walking

And I Kept On Walking

I turned onto Main Street,
And I started walking.

I walked past a bar, a pet store, and a hardware store.
I turned onto Snyder Street,
And I kept on walking.

I walked past a post office and a store selling fruit.
I walked until Peanut fell asleep,
And I kept on walking.

I walked under a bridge and past a pool.
I walked until the sidewalk ended, turned around,
And I kept on walking.

As I walked, I saw flowers in a variety of colors.
I walked until I was tired of walking,
And I kept on walking.

I walked past a small park and a fire department.
I walked until I was absolutely exhausted,
And I kept on walking.

My mind cleared as I walked through town,
I walked until all I felt was my feet pounding on the sidewalk,
And I kept on walking.

I walked past the big park and the compost pile,
I walked until I reached Main Street again,
And I kept on walking.

I walked until I came made it to my destination, my house,
And I finally stopped tulips

Breaking up with my bad habits

I’ve been a big girl my whole life. When I was in middle school, we moved from Pennsylvania down to Florida. Most of the girls in my middle school were so much skinnier than the girls at my previous school. While I looked a couple pounds overweight in Pennsylvania, I felt huge compared to the girls at my new middle school. I was picked on frequently for being “fat”. At the time, I was probably only 10-15 pounds over where I should have been but there was a group of girls who made me feel like I was 100 pounds overweight. Middle school girls can be so ruthless. It got to the point where I just stopped eating while I was at school. It became a habit. Some days I would skip breakfast, every day I would skip lunch and I would come home from school so hungry. When I finally did get home from school, I would eat a bunch of food since I hadn’t eaten all day. I guess I just didn’t realize it before but I still don’t eat much throughout the day. I won’t eat until I feel like I am starving, then I will eat a lot of food. I’ll go hours without eating.

I knew I had some unhealthy eating habits I needed to change and this past week I have been paying close attention to my eating habits. I rarely pay attention to how often I eat or when. I’ve noticed quite a few unhealthy eating habits I need to change. Here is a list of the eating habits I need to work on:

  1. Going hours without eating until I am super hungry, then eating a lot of food.
  2. Not eating much during the day, then eating most of what I eat in the evening or at night
  3. Taking the whole bag or container of food with me to eat instead of just taking a small portion with me, then eating more than I should have (example: Taking a bag of rice cakes with me to watch TV. The next thing I know I ate the whole bag instead of just a few)
  4. Filling my plate full of food. I’ll start to feel full or I’ll become full but continue to eat what’s left on my plate.

I know. They are some awful eating habits. Everything you are not suppose to do when you live a healthy lifestyle. The problem with habits is how hard they are to break. I know it won’t be possible to change all of my bad habits at once. I am going to break them down into easy steps making it easier to develop better habits. I can work on each step individually  Here are some of the steps I can take to break my bad habits:

  1. Portion control
  2. Paying attention to the amount of food I put on my plate and in my mouth
  3. Breaking big bags of snacks down into smaller sandwich bags to control how much I eat
  4. Using smaller plates when I eat meals
  5. Eating smaller healthy meals/snacks every 2-3 hours to keep me from getting too hungry and binging
  6. Eat slower to feel when I am full instead of eating so quickly
  7. Eat more veggies
  8. Not eating after 8pm

These are the steps I need to take to break up with my bad habits. It will take me a while but the time would pass anyway.

What other steps do you think I should take to break my eating habits? What do you do to keep yourself from falling into bad habits?

Weekly Update- April 21, 2013

Every week I plan on posting an update about my progress towards better health. I will post goals I want to accomplish in the upcoming week, if I accomplished the goals I set the previous week, current weight, if I lose or gain weight (hopefully only lose weight), and a brief summary of my activities.

Goals from previous week

  1. Walk at least 8 miles  yes!
  2. Perform at least one strength training workout  yes!
  3. Continue to eat dairy free  yes!
  4. Add one serving of veggies or fruit each day by either eating extra veggies/fruit or replacing a snack with veggies  yes!

Goals for the upcoming week

  1. Walk at least 10 miles
  2. Do at least one yoga workout
  3. Try to eat more veggies as well as fruits
  4. Eat small healthy meals/snacks every 2-3 hours throughout the day
  5. Drink more water throughout the day. (I drink a ton of water since my daughter is still nursing but I need to drink more now that I am working out)

Weigh-in Time

Weight: 260.8 pounds
Lose/Gain: Lost .2 pounds!

Weekly Summary

I walked roughly 9.83 miles this week! I’m so proud of myself! I had a few problems with my phone accurately tracking my miles, but I know I beat my goal of 8 miles. I also did a strength training workout. I don’t have a gym membership so I work out at home using hand weights.

There was a few temptations this week with dairy and it was pretty hard to resist. I did manage to ignore the temptations and stick to being dairy free. I am happy to say I added fruits or veggies every day. I mainly added fruit though so this week I want to work on adding more veggies to my diet.

As a side note, Hubby has been going on walks with me all week. He has lost 2 pounds this week as well!!! I’m so proud of him ❤

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